Yesterday morning our doctor son called on the way home from a double shift at the hospital where he works. What he told his mother changed our day, indeed, our lives for the foreseeable future.
“Stay home as much as possible,” he said, “and stay away from people.” He went to say he, our daughter-in-law, and our high school and college grandsons would not be coming over to visit.
He was talking about the threat the coronavirus is posing to the nation. “You’re in the most vulnerable age group,” he said, “and so you need to limit your exposure to the virus until we see where all of this is going.”
We spent the rest of the day trying to process the truth about our situation that we had known at some level, but had not really consciously processed.
The message he gave became very clear: We are among the most vulnerable to the coronavirus and at some point we might become the least likely to be treated if we get it (if we become like Italy, as I explain below).
Talk about coming face to face with your own mortality. Sadly, millions who have been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness know this feeling better than anyone.
Though not in those kinds of circumstances, it was still very unsettling to come face to face with the fact that because of your age a virus that is spreading like wild-fire will very likely take your life if you contract it.
Suddenly deciding to go to the grocery store took on added significance. If our neighbors who are all still working go sometime this week, they will do so without giving much thought to the virus, perhaps taking some precautions, but not making a big deal about it.
For Joy and me, on the other hand, going to the store has now become a life and death decision. That probably sounds overdramatic, but in the current circumstances, it really isn’t. The coronavirus is a serious existential threat to all senior citizens everywhere.
That means being around other people poses a serious threat to our lives, so the decision to go out in public must be weighed against the risks involved.
That is something few of us have faced before now.
The primary protection we have, healthcare officials are telling us, is “social distancing.” It means staying away from other people as much as possible, and keeping your distance when you happen to be with them.
Because relationships are what matter most to you once you are in your senior years, and for some of us all we have, “social distancing” almost feels like a punishment for still being alive. Yet, it has to be done.
There is some comfort in being healthy, relative as that may be. Joy and I walk three miles a day around one of Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes, and take comfort in being told by our primary care physicians that we are in good health for our age.
At the same time, they always add the qualifier, “…for your age.” We all know what that means. Surviving the coronavirus for people our age is a crapshoot. We might make it and we might not.
At the same time things could get even worse.
Because of the lack of hospital beds and equipment, doctors in Italy are now having to choose what patients to treat. Those with the best chance of survival are first in line. Seniors there are not even in line.
Our doctor son said that the U.S. is actually on the same trajectory as Italy was. If we end up where they are, what I said earlier will become a reality. The chance of our being treated will be low.
All these prospects and possibilities help to put things in perspective. To seniors statistics don’t mean much. What does is doing everything we can to avoid contracting this virus.
That is the only real protection we have, but when it is spreading like wildfire virtually everywhere on the planet, there is nowhere to hide. That is why a simple thing like running to the store is no longer simple at all for us.
Making matters worse is the fact that we have a President who is incapable of leading the nation through this crisis. Among the reasons why, former GOP strategist Steve Schmidt remarked, is that we have a President of a faction instead of a President of the whole country.
CNN’s Peter Bergen was even more pointed when he wrote after Trump’s speech to the nation: “His Wednesday speech underlined his key weaknesses: His failure to do any homework, his narcissism and his half-baked policy ideas.”
In his own way Donald Trump is a danger to all Americans as much as the coronavirus is. Not once has he made anyone feel confident that our government was in good hands, certainly not Joy or me. Worse, some of his decisions and lack of decisions have put us at greater risk.
It would help if we had someone better equipped to lead the country, but we don’t, and that is making it harder for people like me to feel less anxious about facing a situation that has all of a sudden become a matter of life and death.
Because Trump has made this crisis about his political future, I will join in. If I survive, I will make it my business to do everything I can to ensure that he never has another opportunity to lead us in a national crisis.
linnposts.com 
I went to the grocery store today with some trepidation, making sure I had hand sanitizer in my purse and using the cart wipes when I got there. It was packed with people stocking up. Thank goodness our SD convention was postponed. Sue and I had signed up to be delegates. We also have tickets to tomorrow’s St. Patrick’s Day celebration at the local Irish pub, but have decided to stay home and away from crowds. We will be reassessing our travel plans to Virginia. I’m right there with you, Jan, in the vulnerable population and right there with you politically as well. Trump finally found an enemy he could not bully on Twitter. His downplaying of the threat and his general incompetence have cost lives and may cost even more. If this doesn’t bring down his presidency, I don’t know what will, but I assume there are those who will say it’s just a conspiracy of the Democrats and the deep state to do just that. I am beyond disgusted!
Judy, your last sentence sums up where I am as well. I had to refrain from saying anything about his defenders in the face of this health crisis. When I tried, it ended up being another blog in and of itself. So being beyond disgusted says all that needs to be said. You all stay safe.
Thanks Jan for your honesty regarding your concerns. Like you, while I feel healthy I’m reminded by my family that I am also at the age where I need to be extra concerned. Also share your dismay about a president who few people trust because of his propensity to lie, and thinks he’s smarter than everyone else, a fact that has to a considerable degree put this country way behind in confronting this crisis. I would encourage people again to check out the web sight VoteForward as a way to get out the vote. It also gives us something to do while we stay at home. I’ve prepared about 75 letters so far.
All of us have to do what you are doing, Wilbur. This cannot go on. Not only must he be defeated, he must be defeated resoundingly.
(Bill Blackwell, a friend of mine, tried to post this comment, but it would go through. I am posting it for him and will reply to it.)
Nancy and I are in the same age group as you and Joy, and we feel the same vulnerability that you do. We are staying at home as much as possible, even cancelling some doctor appointments. We are ordering essential groceries and household items from Amazon, with next-day delivery (brave new world!)
As much of a “downer” as it is, the cancelling of major sports events/seasons is the prudent thing to do in my view (I sound like Bernie, God bless him!).
I said I would not, but I ended-up watching nearly all of Trump’s press conference this afternoon. Although he took no responsibility for any delay or past inactions re the COVID-19 virus, someone in the WH orchestrated a very strong public relations event!
VP Pence and several high-level heath-related administration figures gushed over what an outstanding job they have done under Trump’s direction in controlling the virus in our country. CEOs of retail businesses like Walmart, Target, and CVS, along with medical labs like Quest, were recognized, and they uniformly praised the president for getting them involved “from the beginning.” As if….
It became sickening for me to watch after a point, but I am sure that Trump supporters lapped-it-up as pure fact. His poll numbers will likely go up, and he has laid the groundwork for the “October surprise” that I predict. Scary!!
Bill Blackwell
Bill, I was sickened by Pence and the others. At this point, I don’t care what he little faction believes. They are going down with him in November. I think if he does what you think he will do and suspend the election, people will literally storm the White House, and I will be among them.
We now have a governor who is doing a great job of getting out info, making hard decisions and being supportive and caring. I only wish he had better support from the national level. Blessings as we all face the new realities of what we must do to survive. I’ll be praying for your doctor son and ask your prayers for our med-tech daughter.
Colette, we will exchange intercessions for sure. Sometimes I can hardly believe we are living through such times. Take care of each other.
Right on, as usual, Jan.
You & I are in the same age bracket, a bracket that up until now, I have more or less ignored. But the situation requires that I admit that 3/4 of a century puts me right up there, way closer to the front than I’ve every wanted to admit..
I especially appreciate your commitment to voting the guy out. Me too.
A long time ago, I worked with a bunch of engineers…an observant and cantankerous bunch. One of them had a cartoon on his cubicle wall of an owl swooping down on a mouse, who was standing in front of the approaching owl with his middle finger raised. The caption was: “A Last Great Act of Defiance.” November 3 is the date for all us mice to stand up & flip off The Orange One…and survive, too.
May it be so, Charlie. May it be so.
I have found the silver lining to this “social distancing” – I am now able to get into your new book!! The glass is always half-full for me, Jan! I hope only continued good health for you, Joy, and your entire tribe!
Robin, you made my day. Let me know what you think when you finish. We are doing all we know to do to stay safe. Never felt as strange about life as I do right now. Very surreal. Take care.
I have just read that Trump has tried to bribe a German company called CureVac into giving the US exclusive rights to the development of an anti-Coronavirus vaccine. Trump has been told in no uncertain terms by the German government that “…Germany is not for sale”, and that the drug will be manufactured for use by the whole World, and not for one country alone.
Good for Germany, Nigel. I wish every country in the world would tell Trump to go to hell.
I have your new book….just started reading it. I can’t remember how I discovered it (ordered Amazon, of course) but it seems to describe the path that I’m currently on. I’m a retired teacher, an ex-Baptist, now a nominal Lutheran, non church attender because of health issues. I am a vulnerable 76 years old, live in Washington state across the mountains from the hotbed of the coronavirus in the greater Seattle area. We have no coronavirus identified in Chelan County, but 4 and 1 death in the county next door.
I discovered your blog because I wanted to learn more about you through Wikipedia. We have similar politics, so I’ll be sure to check back and read more of your comments.
Hi Rena, thank you for sending this comment. I often say to people that I want to hear about their response to the book and I meant it. I hope you will. The best way is via email (janlinn45@gmail.com). Also, please feel free to comment on the blog anytime. If you think the book is worth it, please recommend it to others. I am finding many people whose journey is very similar to yours and would benefit from reading it. All the best.
Hi Jan. I’m thinking of you and Joy, especially of how her name fits her disposition in general terms. I’m hoping she can hang onto that and you both keep your spirits up as much as possible during these times. I spoke to my parents last night, five days after you wrote this post. They fit the vulnerability category as well. Unfortunately, they moved from their home into a retirement community about a year ago, which makes this time more precarious. If they were in their home, they’d have space and freedom to roam. They coudn’t possibly have predicted these circumstances when they made the decision. What’s disheartening is in the times when we’d normally lean in, hug, and show up for our loved ones, and those most vulnerable, the solution is the opposite of our best human instincts. So, I send you and Joy virtual hugs. Our faith will be tested, but this isn’t the time for positive spin. It’s is our collective unfolding and recalibrating. Everything teeters–individuals’ health, systems, and our democracy. I’m so afraid Trump will call off the November elections, as our OH elections were just put on hold. I suspect you’ve done this, but please reach out to your representatives to have them pass an emergency bill that allows everyone to vote by mail in November. I’m thinking of you and Joy and wishing I could swing by for coffee and conversation.
Alice, it is so good to hear from you. I read your posts regularly and keep up with your heart murmurings that way, but hearing directly is special. Joy and I wish as you do that we could have coffee and conversation again as we did in the past. There is so much to talk about, especially in these are very difficult times. And Trump makes everything worse. Words cannot describe how truly awful he is as a leader, and I think without equivocation that his darkness is rooted in the person he is. He will be gone in November. I have no doubts about that. Our own Senator Klobuchar and Ron Wyden have introduced a bill to pave the way for voting by mail. What is more, Trump does not have any constitutional authority to postpone the election, not does anyone else, including Congress. We will get to vote.
I hope your parents stay well. This is the first time in our lives that Joy and I have experienced the kind of anxiety about the future we are now experiencing. So far as we know we are healthy so we have that going for us, but the worry of contracting the virus is real. The best thing you can do for your parents is to stay in touch with them. I can tell you from experience that it will mean a lot to them.
Take care of yourself as well, and keep writing. As a writer I can say with confidence that you have the gift, so never give up on yourself. Writers always want to be published, but we write because it is who we are. Keep at it and let the rest take care of itself. Your blog is already making a difference in the world. A writer cannot ask for more. Much love to you. We have traveled the road of your deepest sorrow with you via your blogs so you have been and remain in our thoughts.
Thank you, Jan. Your words mean so much–all of them, your intelligent and faith-filled thoughts on Trump, these times, and my writing. Deep love and respect to you.