Someone I have known since high school days responded to my last blog on the hypocrisy of the evangelical vote for Trump with the comment: “Get over it, you lost.”
Contrast that with what a friend of mine I also grew up with wrote: “I suppose I will have to accept a Trump presidency, but it is hard. I will not treat him the way Obama was treated.”
For me that said it all.
It was first of all a confession of how difficult Trump’s election has been for my friend and me and millions of others.
We are not petty partisans who cannot stand to lose. We have lost before. No, we are Americans who were shocked by the election of someone who has shown his personal character to be morally corrupt and whose lack of qualifications to be president we believe puts our nation and the world in danger.
So, no, we are not mad because we lost. We, instead, are left wondering what kind of nation we will be after four years under the leadership of someone whose late night tweets sound more like a petulant child than a man who is to be president.
My friend admitted this is difficult to accept, and when he did he spoke for the majority of Americans who in fact did not vote for Donald Trump.
But his second comment showed the quality of his own personal character. “I will not treat him [Trump] the way Obama was treated.”
This is a statement that takes seriously the kind of meanness that has been loose in the nation during the Obama years, showing itself in persistent racism, pettiness, and a Republican Congress that disrespected the office of President by trying to delegitimize Obama’s tenure.
Nothing can erase the degree of disgusting behavior Republicans have shown the last eight years.
Trump’s election made it worse because it represented a de facto endorsement of words and behavior by political leaders that brought shame to our entire nation.
Yet, my friend is choosing not to act that way, not to stoop that low, is choosing to follow Michelle Obama’s counsel, “Whey they go low, we go high.”
This is the kind of behavior that has always made America great – again and again, something Trump and his supporters know little about.
My friend’s words inspired me to the point where I have decided to join him in resisting the temptation to treat Trump and his supporters the way they have treated President Obama and his family.
I do so because I care more about the health and well being of our nation than I do about giving them a taste of their own medicine.
But let’s be clear.
Not treating Trump the way he, his supporters, and Republicans in Congress treated President Obama does not mean sitting around the campfire singing Kum-ba-Yah with them.
It only means staying focused on the issues instead of making the kind of personal attacks they made against Obama, and those of us who supported him.
I will not be petty and mean the way they have been. My friend’s words call me to go as high as they went low.
Yet, make no mistake, there are forces at work trying to take our nation to a very dark place, which is why this a time for us not only to be civil, but to be vigilant.
I am sure my friend would agree we need to be both.
Trump and company can count on it.
linnposts.com 
Thank you, Jan — I so agree with what you wrote and now will struggle to not “go low” — it seems to be human nature to go low. It is always a struggle because at this point there seems to be nothing I can personally do. Please keep writing/posting.
What you feel, Colleen, is what all non-Trump voters feel. But I do believe civility and vigilance constitute the way forward for now. For me that includes writing so I will definitely keep at it. Thanks.
Thanks Jan. This is so right on and so hard but necessary.
Thanks, Kaye. It’s a struggle for all of us, for sure. My friend lives in Lynchburg so that makes it even harder for him than for me living in a blue state. As Gordon Cosby would say, his words “spoke deep to deep” for me.
Thank you once again, Jan, for saying so well what has been circling in my mind. I keep remembering the “lynchings” in effigy, the horrible political “comics” of the Obama’s and it is hard not to cheer and pass on the insulting memes of Trump. But I’m trying to go high. Thank you for the helping hand.
Sara, my friend’s comment has spoken to all of us, it seems. That is what we call the rippling effect, and I hope it goes out a long ways. Thanks.
Thanks Jan for a well spoken blog. I think all of us who did not vote for Trump need to keep it at the forefront of our thinking. It is so easy to go low, and certainly for me in this case, hard to go high. In spite of all the go high counsel, I have decided I will not use the term President Trump. I respect the Office of the President, but I have a long ways to go to respect Donald Trump. And I have serious doubts that I will ever make it.
I understand where you are coming from, Wally. It is definitely a struggle to be civil to people who have been so uncivil for eight years. Like you, I don’t see myself respecting Trump, president or not, but I think acting in a civil way as I critically evaluate what he and the rest of the Republicans do is the way to keep him from controlling me. I think that is the direction my friend was pointing to without actually trying to. Thanks.
Good post Jan. The right response, I think, but oh so difficult. “Just get over it” sounds like the correct response to losing a basketball game, but certainly not this election. I accept the results but I struggle to find the courage and inspiration to oppose the hateful, racist agenda of Donald Trump. Your posts help. If the character of his appointees are any indication, it’s going to be a long, painful 4 years.
Wilbur, I believe this is the time that calls for our best when Trump, his cabinet, and the Republican Congress stir the worst in us. It is hard, for sure, but we can be who the future of the nation requires us to be.
I agree with Wally that I will not refer to Donald as President, because I do not respect, trust, or believe that he is competent to be a president of the U.S. Also, Hillary won the majority of votes by Americans. I do promise to not fabricate lies about Donald, as was done to President Obama and about Hillary; but then, I wouldn’t do that to anyone. Thanks for reminding us of the high road, Jan.
Hillary was right on one thing, Kay. Together we are stronger. Thanks.
Jan, I just read The Behavior of Titans by Thomas Merton again. I strongly urge you to spend an hour and read it. Though published in 1961 it speaks to our need to remain vigilant about matters of civil and social justice and to stand for those values even if it means sacrificing ourselves. I was with you at Dayspring when Reagan was elected and we grieved that so much of the care needed by the poor in our world would be left out of government action. City Gate Mission group was an inspiration to me because we addressed those needs tangibly. If this election has exposed anything for me it has helped me see that those who feel left out of a chance to prosper compose a much larger There is work to do and perhaps we are beginning to be a bit clearer about the issues that must be addressed.
Charlie, thanks for the reminder about Merton’s work. I had not thought of it in many years. This feels worse than Reagan’s election. I disagreed with his policies, and still do, but I never thought he was a threat to the survival of the nation as I do Trump. The latter’s narcissism defines who he is and how he acts. That such a person controls our nation’s most critical decisions frightens me to death. I just hope all of us on the other side will remain vigilant.
It’s great to hear from you. I remember all the good years we worked together trying to open the mind and hearts of so many students. Hope you are well.