This is my third attempt to write one last blog before I stop posting them Facebook (anyone interested can find them at linnposts.com).
I finally realized as a “thinking type” (according to the Myers Briggs personality inventory) that I needed to set aside my “thoughts” and confront the feelings about it all I began having today.
“Thinking” types like me respond to a crisis rationally. Only afterwards do we begin to deal with our feelings.
I risk sharing them (not something I do comfortably) only because you may been feeling many of the same things.
The most dominant feeling I have is that I have lost someone I love. I feel like a death has occurred and I want to turn back the clock and change what has happened.
I cannot tell you for sure what it is exactly that I have lost. That would require too much thinking to figure out and today I don’t feel like doing that. I will in time, but not now.
I also feel betrayed, specifically, betrayed by the Democratic Party I have been in my entire life. I was born into a New Deal Democratic family and all of us still are.
I supported Bernie Sanders because he sounded more like a Democrat as an Independent than any Democratic leader I had heard in years.
But the party didn’t give him a chance. Some three or so years ago they privately chose the worst candidate possible to run for president. Hillary Clinton is a better person than the public believes, but for more reasons than I care to count she was the one Democrat who couldn’t win.
She would have lost big against anyone else. Trump was the only chance she had and she could not pull it off. Just too much baggage.
Many of us knew that from the get go, but not the party bosses. Instead, they put all their support behind her in a way that sent a message to would be challengers to stay on the sidelines.
That is why they disliked Bernie. His popularity among young and older disillusioned Democrats like me exposed the fallacy that Hillary was the candidate the American people would support.
Of course there were multiple factors that led to her defeat, but at the end of the day Hillary was simply the wrong candidate, and she lost because of it.
Another feeling I have is immense sadness for the people who are feeling vulnerable – women, minorities, immigrants, Muslims, members of the GLBT community.
We have made such progress over the last eight years as a nation to practice liberty and justice for all, truly ALL, and now much of that might be lost and that is cause for genuine sadness.
I am also feeling confused by all the articles about why white Americans feel ignored and forgotten, the people for whom numerous articles and books like J.D. Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy are busy trying to give voice.
I know the people they write about because I grew up as one of them. We lived in a low income, blue collar, uneducated neighborhood, but in spite of all of that, we still enjoyed all the privileges being white afforded us that our black neighbors across the railroad tracks didn’t have.
Back then expectations about life were based on the economic conditions you were in and the academic potential you had. Unless you had the latter, the former would determine your future.
As it turned out, most of the kids I grew up with didn’t go to college. They became firemen, policemen, and factory workers, and were able to build a middle class life for themselves and their families, but they were never going to be rich.
Then their jobs started going away and their kids, most of whom didn’t go to college either, found it harder as blue collar workers to make a decent wage as their parents had.
When the economic and war policies of George W. Bush caused the Great Recession of 2008, their lives went down the tubes completely.
I understand why that would make people mad at the world, but they blamed the wrong president and the wrong political party.
Barack Obama didn’t cause their suffering. The fact is, he kept it from getting worse. Had congressional Republicans been willing to work with him, the recovery would have been much more robust than it has been.
Yet the very people who have been hurt worse than anyone by Republicans who put them in the fix they are in in the first place decided on Tuesday to put them back in charge.
No wonder I am feeling confused.
I am also feeling angry. There, I admitted it. But I am not angry at the people you may think. The people for whom I have real contempt at the moment are all the evangelicals who voted for Trump.
They can give any reason they want to for supporting him, but nothing, absolutely nothing, can change the fact that they voted their politics rather than their faith. They are hypocrites of the first order, and have brought shame on the entire Christian community, and that makes me mad.
Finally, I admit that I am almost overwhelmed by the feeling of disbelief about Donald Trump being elected president of the United States.
Even writing that makes me feel like I am in a bad dream and cannot wake up. But I know it is the reality I must face.
In the days ahead I am sure my head will stop hurting, the dizziness will go away, and some modicum of rational thought will return.
But for now, I am overcome with these feelings, and more. Surely I am not alone.
linnposts.com 
Thanks, Jan, for writing out what I have been feeling too. I have just been telling people I’m depressed…and I have this 7 month old great granddaughter — she will be over four years old by the time there is another presidential election — which way will it go by then? I have felt that President Obama has been a wonderful example — thankful that he could be so gracious in doing what must be done to transfer from him being president to Trump being president. In the meantime we’ve got to figure out how to keep caring for everyone and fighting for their rights.
You named the challenge, Coleen. Thank you.
No, you aren’t alone, Jan. Thanks for expressing the feelings and thoughts that we share. We must be prepared to advocate for those who will need the help.
Yes, we do, Kay. I will be there and I know you will be, too, and we will not be alone. Thanks.
As a traditional Democrat who supported Clinton over Sanders and who still thinks she would have been a far better president than Sanders in character and competence, I did fear from the beginning that in our shallow style over substance culture, that she was vulnerable. I do think she should have run on her character and competence instead of joining Trump in the pit where sexism and Bill’s past put her at a disadvantage. Many evangelical leaders chose power over character and principle, which for me is just one more sign than in this post-Christian age, even the Christians aren’t faith based anymore.
Excellent comment. Loren. I would agree with your comparison between Hillary and Bernie, but she could never get beyond being Hillary Clinton. Nothing she might have done would have accomplished that. A non-faith based evangelicalism says it all. Thanks.
I am a feeling person so you can only imagine what it is like for me.
I told my family I know longer want to live a mile from the White House occupied by person who does not deserve to be there and simply terrifies me.
I feel like a citizen w/o a nation.
As for Hillary…. I feel sad for her and for all the women, girls who were inspired by her intellect, her grace, her tolerance, her passion, her tenacity, her tolerance to go thru the hell of running against such a psychopath. Her speech was heartbreaking to so many of us.
I know this election broke your heart, Dixcy, but I also know it will not break your spirit. You are too strong for that. Sadly, the hopes and need for a woman president were laid on the one person who never really had a chance realize them, try as hard as she did. She was qualified in every way and he is unqualified in every way. Sad, indeed, that voters chose the latter. My sense is that we will all live to regret it.
No, Jan, you’re not alone. I am sickened, saddened, and fearful of a future that has been thrust upon me. So many individuals, groups, races, nationalities, and religions have been needlessly and callously denigrated, as many darker aspects of human nature have been given a voice and allowed to walk openly in the light. And now I see that light failing.
I don’t know what course of action will be necessary, but we need to work toward finding a way to heal this country and right its wrongs. Work, for the night is coming. And I fear it will be a horribly long, cold, and frightening darkness which descends upon us all, the so-called winners and loser alike.
Gene, you said it beautifully, and your last sentence could not be more true. Because we are in this thing together, we will all suffer alike by its consequences.
Thanks, Jan. I’m a thinking type as well. But yesterday as I was sitting outside the room where I’m staying in Guatemala I broke down and began to sob. Before I left the country I jokingly told people that my return depended on how the election went. But I didn’t really believe it would be possible that the American people, most of whom say they are Christians, could elect someone so dishonest, racist, morally bankrupt and unqualified as Trump. I, too, was a Bernie supporter. He inspired people and was not in bed with big money. But, as you said, the Democratic party establishment had long ago decided Clinton would be their torch-bearer, a moderate with a ton of baggage, distrusted by far too many and inspiring to far too few. So now we have a nightmare of a President. Don’t ask me to unity behind someone who shows no inclination to work for anyone but himself. I will be a resister until he is out of office unless he stuns the world and becomes the opposite of what his debates and speeches have shown.
Your tears were for all of us, Craig. We will resist together, of that you can be sure. I hope your trip goes as well as it can under this cloud. We will stay in touch. Thanks for taking the time to write.
Unfortunately, we should have seen it coming: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/09/23/trump-is-headed-for-a-win-says-professor-whos-predicted-30-years-of-presidential-outcomes-correctly/
And here’s his latest prediction
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/11/11/prediction-professor-who-called-trumps-big-win-also-made-another-forecast-trump-will-be-impeached/
The scary thing is that there are so many people who are Trump supporters, including some of the good people in my church. We’re in for some rough years!
I think you are right, Chris. It will be especially difficult for churches because, as has been the case seemingly forever, there are many churches members who are Americans first, then church members, and then Christians. Makes it difficult for the actual words of Jesus to be heard.
Thanks Jan, I think you speak for so many of us. I pull back from the news and my spirit lightens. And then I see a headline about waterboarding not being torture and another headline of David Duke celebrating and my sadness and despair returns. The most powerful person in the world has signaled that being hateful, mean, dishonest, and selfish is acceptable behavior.
But there also seems to be awareness by people who believe in respect, tolerance, empathy, and community that we can and must do better. A kind gesture means more than ever now. Ultimately I have to believe that goodness will overcome the ugliness that has engulfed our country.
Wilbur, as you know, I have always believe in the power of goodness as well, but I have to admit that my trust in the goodness of the American people has been shaken. All the reasons people had for voting for Trump doesn’t change the fact the they elected a man whose words and actions are mean, divisive, corrosive, unethical, and immoral. We are already seeing in elementary and middle schools the impact of “Trumpism” being affirmed by voters. At some point you would hope Trump voters would take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. But I wouldn’t count on it. He never has. No reason to expect they will.
Yes, understood. It certainly is hard to believe that we represent any kind of moral beacon to the rest of the world anymore.
Thanks Linn. After years of trying to “get along” with so called, “evangelicals”. thinking and hoping it was a different theological perspective, I give up. After watching the contortions and turning ones self inside out in order to justify voting for a self confessed abuser of women, and immoral person, I see “evangelicals” for what they really are – empty, shallow, gaseous, and bankrupt religionist.
Stephen, your experience parallels that of many people. The challenge is for the rest of us to show evangelicals don’t represent the best of Christianity. That will not be easy.
Oops. Didn’t finish, Steve. The fact that you have reached this conclusion given the kind of life of service and authenticity you have lived, is living testimony to just how corrupt evangelicalism is. They have painted an ugly picture that taints all of us who claim the name Christian. Thank you so much for writing.
You see not alone. Thanks for your cogent thoughts. Cheerz!
The irony is that we are not only not alone, we are the majority, but the minority now has all the power. We shall see what they do with it.
I am in sync with everything that has been said so far. It’s still hard for me to accept that America has elected Donald Trump, but I have to learn to live with reality. I doubt that I will ever see him as a real President.
I think evangelicals are easily swayed by emotion and this was an emotionally charged campaign with little attention paid to real issues.
At this point our future looks bleak, in spite of all of Trump’s feel good Great Again baloney. I do not wish to go back to some illusory time when we WERE great. I want to move forward, always improving on what we are today.
I think the world is wondering what in the world happened in America last week. I hope they do not give up on us because of it.
Wally, I’m with the rest of the world wondering what has happened to us. Still hard to believe Donald Trump will be president next year.
That ANY woman could vote for Donald Trump to become President of the United States is so ludicrously insulting or that ANY conscientious thinking man or woman could vote for the likes of Donald Trump is the biggest shock of my live and I’m 84 years old. Someone please tell me that we are just having the worst nightmare of our lives and that we’ll wake up soon and find that life is still hopeful. How is it possible that so many Americans fell for his “trash talk” and his oh-so-apparent ego maniac personality??????????? The man is dangerous and deceitful. Shall I go on? No, I think not. We must all do what we can to hold Donald Trump accountable. I will NOT call him President Trump…ever. He’s NOT my President. Hugs to you all…and lets “sock it to ’em!”
Thanks, Laura. It is surreal, to be sure. And we WILL hold him accountable, and also all the people who voted for him.
Jan, we are all to some degree thinking people as well as feeling people, are we not? I understand your feelings. After, banging my head against the wall for about and hour, I realized I needed to take a different tact. And, so a cool bottle of Chardonnay did the trick. Like you, my empathetic feelings at this point are totally directed to the “constituency” that Hillary represented. And, whereas I now feel that the Democratic Party could have made a better choice in providing more opportunity for Bernie Sanders to tap into our “lost ” middle class and others, including white, not so prosperous males who find it difficult to find good paying jobs, But, I also feel that Hillary was “electable”, in fact securing a small majority of the popular vote. But, many “circumstances” combined at the end to create the “shock” that many of us now feel. But, in your last response to Laura, you rightly point out that “we WILL hold him accountable” for results. For me personally, I am not “worried” about my near term future. But, for most of the country, we all must keep a close vigil and respond as necessary “to keep America great”.
VERY well said, John. Thank you.